My Dreams are, Quite Literally, Playing Games with Me

Oh boy!  Dream journal time!  I haven’t had one to add in a while.  Having a newborn and REM state doesn’t really go hand in hand so, the fact that both me and my wife had dreams last night is a good sign.

Anywho.  On to the dream.

So, my dream (which was not rich in explanation or story) took place in Cleveland.  Me and a lot of my neighbors were there.  Not sure why it omitted my wife and child, odd design choice.  But me and my neighbors were in a weird version of Cleveland where everyone else was gone and the entire city was just awash in video game tropes.  I should probably warn you in advance, this dream is a silly, silly dream.

I think it's also my first dream that took place in Cleveland.  Hey, I needed roof tops.

I think it’s also my first dream that took place in Cleveland. Hey, I needed roof tops.

So, we were on some city street and there were just things everywhere.  Little monsters and creatures and…coins.  It was madness.  And I realized (after losing my loudest, more obnoxious neighbors to a toothed plant that forced it’s way out of a manhole) that we need to get up high.

We made our way to an alley where we saw some fire escapes.  As we got there, I saw this guy in the alley.  He was wearing martial arts clothing.  Before I could give off a warning, the son of the loud lady that died approached him, only to have a blue fireball singe his arm.  Fuck.  So, I asked who had the most dexterity and, another of my neighbors that works in computers volunteered.  There was basically this half cocked explanation that I gave them that the guy was from a fighting game and you’d actually be stronger against him if you have higher dexterity and not strength.  I also gave him a couple of moves to keep thinking about in his head like a mantra and…sure enough…my neighbor took him out easily.  When he asked why he was so easy, I said, “because he’s the first guy you fought, the first guy’s always easy.

Imagine my surprise when I found that someone had made a custom Street Fighter 4 stage that looked almost like the alley in my dream.  (With less graffiti)

Imagine my surprise when I found that someone had made a custom Street Fighter 4 stage that looked almost like the alley in my dream. (With less graffiti)

Later in the dream, he also took out a Frost Dragon from Skyrim with one hit when I told him to imagine a “finishing move”.  I told him that those were one hit, unblockable moves and that the games don’t cross over well so they’d be more likely to work.

Seriously.  Good work, neighbor.

Seriously. Good work, neighbor.

There was one part that was particularly silly and shows how much disdain I have for current gaming cliches.

We were going from roof to roof and right before we dropped down to a lower roof, I noticed something.  There were walls.  Not useful walls just…sections of wall everywhere.  And metal packing crates that could have NEVER had a purpose on a roof.  Just things everywhere.  I realized what they were…cover.

“Fuck.  OK, the SECOND we get down there, stay behind one of the walls, we’re going to start getting shot at once we touch down.” I said.

“There’s no one there to shoot us!” one of my neighbors said.

“Just…trust me.  The second we get down there, there will be people shooting.  They’re not hiding, they have no where to come from, they’ll just…be.”

"Thank god for all these errant slabs, aye pal?"

“Thank god for all these random slabs, aye pal?”

So, we dropped down and nothing happened.  The neighbor who questioned me said, “See?  Nothing.  The door to the stairs is RIGHT there, so I’m going.”  The second he did so, he was immediately replaced with an explosion that just showered the wall behind us with a red meaty mist.

The Sergeant

The Sergeant

I peeked from cover and there were two towering enemies.  One was a man that KINDA looked like the Sergeant from Team Fortress.  Similiar uniform and hat.  Except he was about eight feet in height and had two massive over the top looking machine guns.  The other enemy.  The one that turned my neighbor into so much Rago, was taller.  Maybe somewhere between 9-12 feet tall and his gun, that he was holding like a chain gun, was a plane.  That’s right, a plane.  He was holding a small plane under his right arm which was wrapped around the tail section.  The other hand was in the cockpit holding it up while one finger worked the controls.  The plane was comically decked out with missiles.

But it seemed like we just kept running into one trope after the next.

Other fun ones I can recall:

There was a bridge going from one roof top to the next.  It was a draw bridge in inexplicably placed on the edge of a roof top with a level to lower it.  After one of my neighbors tried in vain to lower it, or even budge the handle, I noticed that the bridge had way to much detail.  More than even real life.  Like…it was really busy.  And then I asked the important question.  “Has anyone seen a Nord?”

Triskets?

Have you any Triskets, me’lord?

Sure enough, one the other side of a janitor’s hut, there was a guy from Skyrim farming.  Well, I saw farming but he was just doing a raking animation over the tarred roof.  I talked to him and it turned out that I had to ask him to lower the roof, and then explained to my neighbors that RPG’s contain various doors and bridges that, for no reason other than to force you to move linearly, can only be opened by an NPC.  Oddly, I didn’t have to explain NPC, now that I think about it.  Bad writing, subconscious.

Another weird trope was when we encountered a gap.  It was like…two feet wide.  And easy leap, but I reminded everyone to get a running start regardless.  One neighbor thought I was going over board and jumped the gap from a stand still.  And just like the physics of any Mario game, she went barely a foot and then messily feel down the narrow gap.  Yuck.

Don't tell me this doesn't make your right thumb twitch though.

Don’t tell me this doesn’t make your right thumb twitch though.

"Pills here!"

“Pills here!”

The only other one I remember was after that roof top shoot out.  One of my neighbors got shot in the arm.  When we got to the door that lead into the building, I realized, to my delight, that we were in a hotel.  I told me neighbors, “fan out, we’re in a hotel.  I can’t tell you why, but every door is going to be unlocked and every room is going to have a different layout.  I need you all to start checking rooms and find a first aid kit.  It shouldn’t take long.  If you see ANYTHING that’s out of the ordinary, other than what I just described, let me know.  I don’t know what game this is yet, but I promise you, there will be a first aid kit somewhere.  Three first aid kits were found within minutes.  We stored two in my younger neighbor’s backpack (who had unlimited storing space and had, essentially, become our living inventory) and the other one was on me.  I went to my neighbor and opened it to find a single bandaid which I applied to the bullet wound.  The bandaid disappeared along with the wound and the pain.  Video game logic.

It was around that time, I woke up.  Probably for the best as I was fairly certain that this was either a hotel from Last of Us or Left 4 Dead.  So that’s a good thing.  I haven’t had zombies in my dreams before and I’m not starting now.

"LEMME IN YOUR DREAMS!"

“LEMME IN YOUR DREAMS!”

But yeah, that was just some of the nonsense in my dream.  I think what happened was, I had this massive craving to play video games last night and I never did.  So, I think my subconscious threw me a bone in a very weird way.  So, anywho, that was it.  And this journal, just like many modern games, has a terrible ending.  Enjoy.

*credits roll for seventeen minutes*

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