So, this is the first blog I wrote from work. Don’t worry, I’m not actually on the clock or anything, it’s just that I got to work a half an hour early and figured I’d try something other than my standard plan of sitting in the car and playing 3DS till it was time to come in.
Well…that’s not entirely true. My plan was to come in and clock in 30 minutes early so I could leave 30 minutes early. But it turns out you’re not allowed to do that because my time is CLEARLY more valuable after 6:30 in the morning. Makes sense.
But yeah, I’ve been trying to blog more. It’s hard you guys. Holy hell. I just can’t seem to get myself to write and I’m not a fan. Sasha Grey (how’s mere mention should at least bring in two or three more views. Thanks Google!) was on the Nerdist the other day and said something about how she has to stay busy and keep creating because, when she doesn’t, she has a hard time getting creative again.
I think that’s what it is. Possibly. It’s hard once you fall of the wagon to get back on. Long time fans/friends/fennec foxs of mine will know that I used to create constantly. Whether it was photography, pyrography, blogging, vlogging (gags at the term) or even incredibly bad poetry that no one ever liked ever, I was always creating.
Now, not so much. And I know the variables in my life have shifted drastically. I now have a wife I want to spend time with and a newborn that I both want AND have to spent time with so, my dance card’s pretty full. Plus, I don’t know if you know this but your paternal instinct straight up fucks with you when it comes down to trying to create. For example, the other night I tried to write. I had this whole thing in my head. There was some awesome dream and I wanted to get it down before it dissipated so I got home from work.
But I couldn’t get the computer right away, there was other stuff I had to do so, panicked, I started repeating everything I was going to type in my head over and over again. Finally, I got to the computer and started to type, about two paragraphs in, my son started to fuss. Now, despite the fact that my wife had him and I was not needed, the second he started fussing, it just formatted my memory. Everything was gone. Even rereading what I had already wrote couldn’t bring it back.
I was debating just continuing on from there and making some sort of guess but…man…I don’t want to lie to you guys. Precious few people actually read this where I’m not going to just start making things up. I respect you guys that much.
But it was disheartening because, after sitting there for a while, I couldn’t come up with anything. I still had that dire need to create but there was nothing I can pull from.
Who’s knows, maybe if I start writing from work in the mornings I can get something out there. Hell, even just writing all this about not knowing what to write sort of felt good. So, here’s hoping.
Though, if you could, throw some suggestions at me. Or questions. Ask about things in my life or just questions in general. Maybe if I had some sort of ideas it’ll help me get the ball rolling again. Love you guys.